lights
by kotax
Summary: Hiding out on a harsh desert world to try and keep watch over the young boy destined to bring a flicker of hope to the galaxy, Obi-Wan Kenobi finds himself a shining light that brings him a wave of happiness, something he had thought was a lost hope. AU.


The familiar face stands in front of him, and for a second he's sure it is a hallucination. For a moment, neither of them speak a word. They simply stare at each other, time sure has been wonderful to her. He's sure she's thinking the opposite of him, as he's standing in old robes, he hasn't trimmed his beard in months, and he lives in a ball of dust on Tatooine. If he was being honest with himself, the two years here, and the almost 9 since he's seen her, have been a bitch for him. A voice coated in innocence breaks their silent stares, however, and while muttering apologies he's ushering them inside without a second thought.

 _Emmalin._ He learns her name. It's a beautiful name for a bright little girl. Emmalin-Avay. He repeats her name a few times in his head, and a smile then forms on his face. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Emmalin." He greets, taking her hand in his gently and shaking it as if she were his equal. She wears a bubbly smile as he does so. A moment later, she's talking at a rate far faster than he can keep up with. She speaks of school, her home, and the travel here. (There's also, he notes, several complaints about the terrible heat that's causing her a headache).

He brings in glasses of chilled drinks for the visitors shortly after the introductions, and another several minutes fly by; he learns that the young child sitting in his front room is 7 years old. He watches in admiration as she twists the hair of the elder into an elegant braid down her back. It was a talent that he had never been able to learn, and never had the desire to put forth the effort to, but the fact still stood that it was something that peaked his interest in seeing such a young human child successfully braid the tangled strands of hair.

During the meeting, he also learns that her mother has fallen ill, he listens to her recount one particularly rough night, where she left the young girl with a woman by the name of "Kiose". It seemed, at that point, the only way to save her sanity was to take an evening stroll. However, she hadn't taken in account the weather, and she found herself trapped in a downpour of rain. Since then, the cough and the headaches had been worsening, despite the constant attempts to waver them. A lump forms in his throat as the words breathe through her mouth; and when he hears them, his gaze drifts back towards Emmalin, who has since fallen asleep on a chair in the corner of the room.

It only takes a moment for realization to hit him.

Six months later he sits in the sand with Emmalin, her head resting on his shoulder while tears are streaming down her cheeks; sobs are taking over her body and the sight is heart breaking. To see such a young and happy girl cry so hard, Obi-Wan was sure that he'd seen it all now. He licks his top lip, whispering words of encouragement to her, telling the child that she's no longer in pain, that the girl should continue her ventures and become the brightest star in the entire galaxy (a phrase he isn't sure he'll ever use again) to ensure that her mother be proud of her, wherever she may be now.

Their day to day routines take time to adjust to without the familiar face between the two of them. He tries to assist as Emmalin cries herself to sleep every night, awakens with a bitter attitude and finds it difficult to eat anything, but he supposes that his constant pressures to tell her that she needs to nourish herself are only causing more trouble, so after weeks of trying, he lets the child come to him on her own.

It's almost a year before either of them are comfortable enough with each other and their situation to talk about anything other than the sadness that has overcome their home. And when they do, the 8 year old has the oddest question for him; In his 40 years living, he hadn't ever thought he'd be asked such an absurd question. It happens over their evening meal, it's been otherwise quiet. Her voice penetrates and he stops mid bite of his food. " _Why do people get embarrassed when they have to go the bathroom."_

His face is showing utter confusion, and the small brunette laughs in return. Being honest with himself, he loved her laugh. It was genuine and full of life, much like the child herself.

From that moment forward, the two of them have casual conversation over morning and evening meals, talking about his plans for the day in the morning and her days in lessons in the evening. It works for them for several years. She's 16 when the conversation takes a sharp turn, and he isn't sure how to handle the question she asks. A young boy, a year younger than herself, has seemed to take an interest in her and she seeks advise. He curses to himself, when he agreed to help care for this child before her mothers untimely death he'd forgotten the fact that she'd actually age like a normal human child. She has no knowledge of the force or the Jedi, despite the few things she's learned in school or heard in passing from other children at school. She is not held to the standard of the code, she can form attachments if she pleases and there's no reason to hide them.

He swallows a bite of his food and pushes the question, hesitantly, "Well, are you uh, interested, in the gentleman?"

Her nose scrunches, and she chuckles while shaking her head before speaking. "Ugh, no, Dad, I'm not interested in anyone. I'm _sixteen._ I want to finish learning about life before I think of heading off into a relationship to potentially end in marriage and children and then sending my learned knowledge to the child I'm entrusted to. I know it's silly, and Mom would say that I'm young and I should enjoy it, test the waters or something, but if I'm going to make her proud I can only have on focus. No, think I'll pass for another year on the gentleman front."

Obi-Wan laughs, "If you say so, Emmy."

Even after 9 years together, it's the strangest thing to him, being someone's _Dad._ The title was so foreign, even among the ones that he's held all these years. An initiate, a Padawan. Ambassador. A Knight. A Master. A _Jedi._ Those were all things he'd prepared himself for, they were his goals. This title, the life that he's now living, it was pushed upon him so abruptly that he hardly had a chance to adapt to it, but it's no secret that he is rather enjoying himself. It brings a certain light to the sadness that engulfs his being, the reason for his solitude on Tatooine

A year passes, and his daughter is a bright ray as her hair rests delicately in twin braids down the back of her head. To this day, he's still fascinated by the fact that she can braid hair so smoothly, even her own, and he has yet to pick up on the task. He watches as she nervously takes the hand of the young boy who has come to retrieve her. He's saddened at the sight, and he can't seem to figure out why. She's seventeen now, well old enough to explore relationships with other beings, and he knows that she'll be home well before dark so the dangers are no greater than sending her off to lessons so many times.

He decides to take the opportunity to take a stroll himself. He hadn't checked on young Luke in a while and he's sure the twelve year old is into a handful of trouble on the Lars farm, and he wasn't in the desert to raise a family of his own, he was here, after all, to ensure that the galaxies hope had someone to look after him; to make sure he was safe from the clutches of the empire, of his own father. Chills run wild down his spine at the mere thought of it.

So, he walks alone, his robe and hood protecting him from the blowing sand. He feels a pang of guilt wash over him shortly after he looks over the dune to see Luke and Owen working on one of the units He pushes the emotion back, though, smiles to himself, and turns back towards his own home where surely his daughter is wondering why he hadn't waited at home, and coming up with several theroies as to where he may have gotten to. He'd told her the stories, the dangers, of wandering around after dark and he hadn't thought that she would simply ignore them.

Home, to no surprise, is quiet. She's sitting at the table and a small flame is flickering in the corner bringing a small amount of light to the room. He can see the worry evident on her face, hears it in her words as she quivers the question of his whereabouts. Comforting words can only go so far, he's learned, that after he assures her he was simply out for an evening stroll to come to terms with the fact that his little girl was growing, he pulls her into a gentle embrace.

They spend the remainder of the night talking about her evening, and how absolutely treacherous it truly was. Emmalin even goes as far to mention that she's never letting another boy take her out again.

Of course, as he suspected, that fact wasn't true. A few months later she was on another date, which amounted to a second date. After that, however, he never heard about the blonde from school.

She's nineteen when she asks why he meditates so much. It's an inevitable question, because he's never hidden his meditation from her. He's even tried to get her to meditate with him, but she states that it is a far too boring task for her taste.

He replies with the fact that he enjoys being able to clear his mind, it brings him a sense of serenity that he enjoys. She doesn't press it further, for which he is grateful. Per her mothers request, he's never taught her of the force, despite the fact that is a force sensitive being. He hears the womans voice in his mind, the memory never too far away.

" _It's too dangerous for her, Obi-Wan. She's never been one for secrets, or hiding in the shadows. She loves being the center of attention. And if we focus on her force abilities? They'll find her for sure. I've gone to great lengths already to ensure that that doesn't happen. Please, I don't ask that you understand it. I simply ask that you respect my wishes as her mother. The one who has raised her for six years, who carried her and birthed her and loved her. I ask this one thing of you. Keep her safe."_

He hopes that he's done a good job of that so far.

Five months later, he's meeting her boyfriend. He's a younger than her, Obi-Wan realizes. It isn't much, perhaps a year or two younger, but the fact still causes a twinge of uncertainty. He's likable, regardless, and is kind and seems to have a deep caring for Emmalin. So when she speaks he acts as if it didn't bother him.

"Dad, this is Kylan Somers" Emmalin pushes him towards her father with the sweetest smile. "Kylan, my father, Ben."

"It's a pleasure, Kylan." He shakes the young boys hand, a welcoming smile on his lips. With the words, "You as well, sir. If I may say, you've done a wonderful job raising such a bright light as Emmalin." the boy immediately makes him rethink his initial thoughts of skepticism in the few short moments. In fact, he makes Obi-Wan wonder how he'd managed to do so well when he had no idea what he was doing.

He's sure, it's all because of her mother. She may have only had a few years with Em, but her memory burns so clearly in her daughter. She's exactly as a holo of the girl he'd held a dear friendship with during the war, a friendship that eventually amounted into something that could never move forward, but they managed to create the beautiful girl sitting across from him now, and of all the regrets he has, all the mistakes he made, that fact would never change. Because he loved her, both of them, and going forward, he'll never doubt that fact again.

* * *

 _ **A note from the author:**_

 _ **thanks for reading this terrible story! It's been a work in progress for a few days, as all my thoughts seemed to come to me while I was in the happy place between staying awake and falling asleep, and I could never find the motivation to sit up and grab my laptop and type away. I just had to hope I would remember them. I probably could have written more about the Kylan, Emmy, and Obi-Wan dynamic going forward, but nah. It's long enough. Anyway. Emmalin Avay is Em's first and second name. She does have a last name when she meets Obi-Wan, but even though I have envisioned this story as a Sobiwan (I can't decide if I prefer Sabé or Siri as a ship ?) , I chose to leave her mothers name out of the story, so that all shippers can have a cute obi/daughter one shot.**_


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